UnRachel Berry like
by Awesam
Summary: Rachel has been finally broken. All she ever wanted is New York, but that seems out of reach, can Puck help her back up or is the damage done permanent. Note:later mentions of assault and suicide.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is my first ever fanfic. Going to be a multi-chapter, and will probably be endgame Puckleberry, but Rachel focused. Sorry about the Shane and Mercedes hating but I needed some bad guys and with Dave out they were left. All errors are mine. No copyright intended, don't own Glee.**

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><p>New York. Rachel squeezed her eyes closed. New York. Everything would be worth it, eventually. One day she would be in New York, she would be on Broadway, she would win a Tony, she would even find a leading man, one day. As long as she made it through today anyway.<p>

Rachel stood to the side of the stage, hidden behind the black curtain, watching as Mercedes belted out another perfect run. Emma's wide eyes, Artie's smile, and Coach Beiste's tears told her all she needed to know. Mercedes would win. It didn't matter that Rachel was better vocally, put in more effort, cared, organised for the school to perform 'West Side Story'; all that mattered was that Mercedes was well liked, soulful, and good at taking the solos that Rachel had earned.

Rachel heard Mercedes hit a note sharply. Hope filled her eyes as she glanced to the judges, hoping at least Artie had heard it. He had, she could tell by the wince, but he shook it off and continued smiling. Mercedes finished, holding a note longer than everyone, except Rachel, could.

"Well done Mercedes!" Emma stood, clapping.

"Yeah, Mercedes, I think I can say you're our Maria," Artie confirmed.

Rachel felt more tears slip out. She was better. She knew it, Artie knew it, hell, even Mercedes knew it. But Rachel was different. She fought for solo after solo, trained hard, and was determined, she would get out of Lima, to New York, but for some reason it made people hate her, tease her, slushy her.

Mercedes walked past her, sending a smirk in her direction. Rachel held her head high and steeled herself. Last year she would have run onto that stage and sung non-stop until they agreed that should was actually the better Maria. She would have danced, acted, and even blackmailed until she got her way. She may have even done that just yesterday, but not today, something was stopping her.

So she did something very unRachel-Berry-like. She dropped her head, walked away, and conceded to the black diva.

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><p>Rachel exited the bathroom, fake smile in place, eyes no longer red and blotchy. Walking to her locker, she stopped suddenly, causing a student behind her to bump into her hard, before he walked around her. Right in front of her, only two lockers down from hers, was the image of her nightmares. Blonde. Cheerio uniform. Gold cross necklace. Evil grin, hidden by the lips of a dopey quarterback, the dopey quarterback that was currently still her boyfriend.<p>

For the second time that day she did something very unRachel-Berry-like. She let her fake smile drop, turned, and walked away, right out the front double doors of the school. Unfortunately for her luck was not on her side. She walked straight into the arms of her biggest tormentor.

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><p>Shane grabbed her arms, after she basically crashed into him, not watching where she was going. Tears still dribbled down her face after seeing Finn return to Quinn's arms. Rachel gasped as she saw Shane's face. Mercedes' boyfriend had taken it upon himself to break Rachel down from the moment her began dating Mercedes. Rachel hadn't even known Shane before then, but she must have down something to be on his radar, or maybe it was just that she was in the way of Mercedes being Glee lead, she had no idea.<p>

"Well, if it isn't just the midget I was lookin' for. My coco thunder jus' told me 'bout her first step into the world of stage theatre."

Rachel gulped. She wasn't ready for this to be so blatantly rubbed in her face yet. It had only just happened and after what she saw with Finn...

"It isn't her future but everyone's gotta start somewhere right? 'Cept for you. You're never gotta get anything. Wanna know why? 'Cause you are the world's most talentless, big-nosed, freak."

Rachel began struggling against his grip. She didn't know where he was going with this but she just wanted to get home.

"But you know what? I'm gonna do you a favour. I hear no matter what you try no guy, not even a slut like Puckerman, will put out for you. So I'm gonna help with that."

Rachel eyes widened. She was a smart girl, she knew what he meant by that, and so, she screamed. From the bottom of her lungs, with her years of training, she made the loudest noise she possibly could. First thought was seeking help; the second was bursting Shane's eardrums. Unfortunately neither happened because Shane was quick to cover her whole face with one of his meat palms. She could barely breathe, let alone scream, as he dragged her from the parking lot to the football field.

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><p>Puck grunted. Breathing heavy as he run up and down the stands on the football field. This was his senior year, finally, and it was time he actually put in effort to get out of this hick town. He knew he wasn't likely to get a football scholarship, or even a music scholarship, but he figured it was time to try.<p>

He even briefly considered going for the male lead in that musical thing Berry had been preaching about. He smirked, Beth would be so proud seeing her daddy up on stage, especially with Berry involved, it would be an epic production.

Thinking about Beth made him frown, and almost loose his footing on the top step. He stopped, taking a big gulp of water and wiping the sweat off his face with a towel. Beth was amazing, so was Shelby too. Seeing how great Beth was now finally made Puck see that giving her up was best, he never could have given her what Shelby has, and now he even had a chance to be there for her. As long as Quinn didn't go and fuck it up.

He didn't have a chance to follow that thought, though. He heard grunting, and a muffled noise, coming from behind the stairs. He followed his curiosity around the stands, searching for the noise. Another one of Mr. Ryerson's drug deals? Some kids hooking up? Some teachers hooking up? That made him pause. Mr Shue and Ms P had been looking real friendly lately. No, there's God knows how many germs under her, no way would Ms P get down and dirty in this place.

Just in front of him he saw the disturbance. At first all he could see was the back of a Jock, but looking at the number Puck could pick him as Shane. Puck almost walked away, not wanting to see Mercedes and Shane working on some coco loving, but he was stopped. Shane pulled an arm back, sending a fist into the face of the girl he had pressed into a steel pole.

The fuck? Shane turned a bit, searching for a better position to hold the girls arms so she couldn't fight back. But judging by the size, Puck didn't think she could even hurt a fly let alone the gigantor of all of Ohio. Wait, size? That tiny midget seems familiar. That shiny brown hair, legs that go on for hours, those dark pools of chocolate eyes that just turned his way begging for help. That's Berry. Puck took off, covering the distance in mere seconds.

He threw all of his weight into his first punch. It's against the code to hit a guy while his back as turned but there's gotta be some clause that says if the dude is that big and raping that girl, well any girl but Berry is so tiny and beautiful and... well, it's gotta be excusable then. His fist landed to the size of Shane's head, quite a distance over Puck's own.

Shane seemed more shocked than hurt, but either way he dropped Berry. She landed with a thump onto the concrete. Puck glanced at her quickly before he turned on Shane again. She was topless, he bra was torn, her underwear was around her ankles and her already miniscule skirt wasn't leaving much to the imagination. All the skin on display though was marred, filled with bruises, scratches, cuts, or blood. Her face was the worst. She must have hit her head as she landed because Puck could see blood spreading around her.

He knew he had to finish this fight quick and get to her to hospital. And he knew that if Shane had stolen the thing that Berry held so tight to her chest that not even he could touch it, then he was a dead man. Hell, Puck might even have to find out how to bring someone back from the dead, just to kill him again.

Puck used his agility to his advantage, dodging Shane's meat fists, sending fast strong jabs in return. Shane was sagging, he didn't have the energy to fight, but Puck didn't have the time to wait for him to just collapse. Puck turned quick, putting all his weight onto one foot while sending the other flying. Thank God for video games. His boot smacked into Shane's face, sending him straight into the pole. He landed with a thud, right on top of Rachel.

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><p>Puck raced into the hospital, skidding across the shiny floor and almost loosing his footing. He held Rachel softly in his arms, her blood covering his shirt and his letterman jacket over her body because she had been shivering. He found someone official looking that was wearing a lab coat and ran over.<p>

"Help her!" If he hadn't been so intent on holding Rachel, making sure she was still breathing, he may have just thrown her at the doctor in his panic.

The Doctor turned quickly, sending orders for a gurney, scans, tests.

Puck struggled to let her go, but settled for holding her hand as she was wheeled towards an MRI as other doctors cleaned cuts, and stopped some of the bleeding.

Puck could see a door fast approaching, "staff only, do not enter". Immediately he started thinking of reasons to be let through, no way was he leaving his fellow Jews side. Unfortunately one look at the doctor that seemed to be in charge told him, tough luck, he'd have to wait.

With a quick kiss to her hand he released her, praying to whatever being was out there that this one girl would be OK. He would give anything for her to be OK.

Puck paced the waiting room; phone on hand, waiting for his fellow Gleeks to arrive. Misters Berry were already here, harassing any nurse or doctor that walked past on Rachel's wellbeing.

Finn's lumbering frame was the first to rush into the room, his eyes darting around panicked. Finding Puck, Finn ran up to him, shaking his shoulders, staring at Puck's blood drenched attire.

"Dude. What happened? Where's my girlfriend? Is she OK?"

Puck sucked in a breath of air. Girlfriend? Oh, yeah he forgot about that; he was supposed to be avoiding Berry, not getting between the fail that was Finchel.

Before Puck could reply he saw Mercedes walk in, along with a pale and shaking Kurt, Tina, Mike, Blaine, Brittany, Artie, Quinn, even Santana.

For a second he had to remind himself that A, he didn't hit girls, and B, it wasn't her, just her boyfriend, possibly spurred by something she had said. Puck knew all about Mercedes' hatred of Rachel. From Berry being more talented, a star destined for success, having Kurt as her new best friend, being part of a power couple, Mercedes wanted it all.

He couldn't hit her but he could yell. And blame her.

"What happened was her fucking boyfriend bashed Rachel to a pulp! This blood all over me? She caused it! Get the fuck out!" Puck was right in her face now, all the gleeks staring wide-eyed.

"I-I-I didn't do anything?"

"You sure? You didn't whinge one time too many to that lard of yours? She was..." Puck couldn't finish. Images of her practically naked, unconscious and bleeding burned his eyes. He sat down, before he could fall down.

Kurt was the only person to come to Puck's aid, placing one porcelain hand on Jock's shoulder.

"Puck... Is she... what happened?" Puck grimaced in pain; as if the mere thought of reliving the events to Kurt would be the end of the world.

"If you can't it's OK, just, tell me, is she OK, or, well, will she be OK?"

Anger flew through Puck's eyes, how could Kurt even ask if she was OK? Of course she wasn't fucking OK; she was in hospital. But a quick glance at the feminine boy's face told Puck that he needed comfort, he was truly worried about Berry.

"She..." Puck tried to swallow down a lump, when did he become such a girl? Oh yeah, when he saw his Berry being bashed. "I heard some noises, figured some jock was scorin' or whatever and wanted to see what's what, chick I'd already banged or whatever." That's it Puck, remove your feelings, your still cool.

"First, all I saw was gigantor's back, and thinkin' the chick was Mercedes and I didn't wanna see that shit I went to bail, but then..." C'mon Puck, removed...removed. Fuck removed.

Puck leaped out of his seat, right back into Mercedes' face.

"Then YOUR boyfriend punched her! In the fucking face! Do you know how little she is? How breakable? He was holding her, a-and she couldn't scream, or... she wasn't even talking. Do you know how fucking wrong that is? And so I hit that douche and he dropped her... he dropped her and she hit her head, and she was... she was...she..."

Puck shook his head. No way could he finish that sentence. And fuck these people if they thought they deserved to know.

"And we fought, and I beat down his fat ass, and I got her here. I got her here as quick as I could OK? I couldn't have done anything more! I couldn't..."

Misters Berry stepped in, having listened to the whole conversation, and knowing the part Puck had skipped over.

"Son, we know you did everything. Our princess is going to be OK and we have you to thank for it, OK young man?" Hiram nodded at Puck, trying to force him to understand how much of a hero he had been.

"What if I was too late?"

Hiram couldn't answer. He knew what Puck was referring to, but he couldn't even bring himself to think it.

"You weren't too late. She's alive isn't she?" Leroy held tight to Hiram's hand as the shorter man cried.

"I mean-"

"I know. We'll deal with that when we know. But either way you were right on time, don't forget it. We owe you everything," Leroy held out a hand to Puck.

Puck shook it, firmly. "Repay me by lookin' after her?" Puck smiled, it seemed foreign on his face, as if he had never smiled before, even though it had only been hours.

"We don't need to when she's got you," Hiram replied.

Before anything more could be said a doctor approached.

He drew Hiram and Leroy from the crowd to tell them the prognosis. Puck shuffled his feet a little; he wanted to know, desperately, how Berry was.

Hiram glanced at Puck as he walked to the doctor, a quick look at Leroy and he turned back, grabbing Puck's hand and dragging him with them.

The three stood in front of the doctor, waiting to see if Rachel was alive, waiting to see if Puck had been too late.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked. R and R.<strong>


	2. Santana sees

**A/N: Thankyou so much for the reviews and story alerts, you guys are great. Sorry bout my errors. This chapter is Santana love, because of the lack of her in this week's ep. Don't own Glee, enjoy.**

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><p>Scandal has once again rocked the Glee club!<p>

This humble reporter has all the dirt on the incident surrounding a certain Glee members' hospital visit.

Glee lead, and my future wife, was admitted to hospital last week by McKinley bad boy, Noah 'Puck' Puckerman.

Nurses have informed yours truly that my Rachel has been unconscious, but in a stable condition, during her stay.

Doctors believe she will awaken, but the timeframe remains to be scene.

What accident lead to our favourite future Broadway stars' admittance, I hear you ask?

One Shane 'Gigantor' Marcus, Glee diva Mercedes Jones' new boyfriend, is the reported cause of Rachel's unconsciousness.

Witnesses claim that Shane, fuelled by seeking revenge for his wanna-be girlfriend, tried to 'snuff' out Mercedes' main competition.

The jock left Rachel bruised, bleeding, knocked out, cut, and naked, and was only stopped Puckerman interfered.

Shane is reportedly in police custody, awaiting testimony of Rachel.

The question on my mind, is Rachel's precious Berry popped or does it remain intact for my taking?

Watch here for more Glee gossip and updates.

Mercedes tucked her phone back into her pocket. She sat with Quinn, Santana, Brittany, Artie, Tina, Mike, and Blaine in the choir room.

"I can't believe everyone keeps blaming this on me," Mercedes huffed.

"Maybe 'cause it's all your fault?" Santana barely stopped filing her nails to reply.

"'Scuse me?" Mercedes shot out of her seat, getting straight into Santana's face.

Santana shot her a 'Bitch Please' face. "Bitch Please." See?

"What are you talking about Satan," Mercedes tried to glare down the head cheerio.

Santana stood, not even phased by Mercedes' attempt at a stare down. "I'm talking about your boyfriend and the fact that the only reason he did what he did was because of you. It was your complaining, your diva attitude, your complete laziness and disability to put effort into anything other than complaining that did this to her. I may not be Berry's biggest fan, actually I may be her biggest enemy, but I got her back, and she doesn't deserve what you've done to her."

"All she ever does is tell us how much we suck, and how much better than she is than us," Mercedes shot back.

"No! Well, yeah she does do that a lot, which sucks, but she is always there for us!" Santana turned to Quinn. "You. She was the one that told Finn that you were a deceitful bitch, yeah it was selfish, but it was what you couldn't bring yourself to do. And after, she was the one that took you shopping for maternity clothes, and paid because your parents cut you off. She was the only one, other than Artie, that cared when you went MIA during summer."

Santana turned to Tina. "You. Maybe she got pissed when you stole her solo, but remember last year when she gave one up for you? Do you remember, after complaining a million times, about every date with Mike being 'dim sim, with his mum', how she gave you a voucher for two to Breadsticks? That was the night Mike said he loved you.

Santana turned to Mercedes. "So what, after everything she has given up, all her loyalty, years of training, she finally has a boyfriend, a best friend, a role that will help her with college and you have to take it from her?"

"Well, Satan, if you can remember, her best friend was mine! Her boyfriend was hers-"

"And will be again. Maybe. We kissed last week... before... once she wakes up he'll be mine again," Quinn interrupted.

"Wait, what?" Santana rounded on Quinn.

Quinn just shrugged, not caring in the slightest.

"Whatever. You freaks stay here," Santana turned to head out of the choir room.

"W-w-where are you g-g-going?" Tina asked her, her stutter returning in her nervousness.

"Where do you think? I'm making sure buckets o' crazy wakes up." Santana turned and left.

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><p>Santana knocked on Rachel's hospital room door, not even waiting for a reply before inviting herself in.<p>

Puck was in a chair on the left of the bed, Rachel's hand in his, and his head resting on her stomach while he slept. Hiram sat in a couch near the window in the corner of the room and Leroy stood beside him. Kurt was sitting on the end of Rachel's bed, playing solitaire, and Finn was nowhere to be seen. That just made what Santana was about to say easier.

The room's occupants didn't even notice her until she claimed the chair on Rachel's right side, scraping it along the floor.

"Santana?" Kurt stopped, midway through dealing his cards, Daddies Berry paused their conversation, all three sets of eyes turning to look as her. Puck snored, still asleep.

"Don't mind him. This is probably the longest he has slept all week, he doesn't even leave," Kurt scrunched his nose up, "or even shower. So we're letting him sleep."

"Whatever. Where's Finn?"

"Coffee," Kurt replied. The two Berry men went back to their conversation.

"Good."

Kurt raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow.

"So you didn't know Mr-puffy-man-boobs cheated on sleeping beauty here?"

"What! He-"

"Shhh," Hiram glanced towards Puck, stirring slightly from his slumber.

"Sorry," Kurt whispered. "OK first, I actually think she'd like that nickname, and second, Finn would never do that."

It was Santana's turn to raise a brow.

"Well, OK, he would do that, he has done that, but he wouldn't do that to Rachel, not again anyway."

Santana just stared.

Kurt dropped his head, sad for his diva friend. "With who? When?"

"Quinn, last week. I don't know if she knows yet."

"Well I'm not going to be the poor unfortunate who has to tell her."

"Who's the 'poor unfortunate' who has to tell her about..." Santana couldn't even bring herself to say it.

"Again, not me. But from what Puck says she should already know. He says she was awake until he dropped her."

"Yeah, but, will she remember? She hit her head and all," Santana glanced at Rachel's bandaged head, her still bruised face, cuts that covered the visible skin, and the deathly pale skin.

"This is Miss Rachel Berry. If she decides she wants to remember she will."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then-"

"Noah..." Rachel's eyes flickered slightly, her words coming out in a breathy moan. "Noah..."

"Rachel?" Santana shook her arm. "Berry, you coming to?"

"Sorry Santana, she isn't. She's been doing this a lot. Doctors say she's just dreaming.

"About Puck? What else has she been saying?"

"Just 'Noah'. Sometimes with sentences, but it's always about Puck."

"Finn must be loving that," Santana smirked. She turned towards the boy in question, laying over Rachel, as if protecting her from something unseen. "How's he liking it?"

Kurt smiled, looking at Puck. "You should've seen his face the first time she did it. He was a kid on Christmas, slightly ironic that he's Jewish. Every single time she does it, this smile comes on his face, if I didn't know better I'd say it was a look of looooove."

Santana snorted. "I do know better, I know Puckerman more than anyone, and trust me, that look, that may be one of love."

"You thinking Puckleberry 2.0?"

"I've been thinking Puckleberry 2.0 since Puckleberry 1.0. The Berry part just had to wake up a realise it. Two years later and it looks like Puck is still waiting on her to wake up," Santana smiled.

"Witty."

"Thanks."

"Rachel?" Puck's head shot up, along with the rest of him. Holding Rachel's hand he leaned over her face, whispering softly, "Rach? Berry, are you waking up?"

Just as he said it Rachel's eyes started flickering, her hand squeezing Puck's.

"Noah," she moaned. Her eyes slowly opened. "Noah, you're here," she smiled.

Before anyone could say or do anything she reached up, grabbing Puck's hand and pulling it towards her face, kissing him with everything she has.

When air become a problem they parted, Rachel pressing one last light kiss on Puck's mouth.

Santana cleared her throat. "Wanky, wanky."

"Santana! What are you doing in my dream? Why are you in my bedroom? Oh no! Is this some kinky side of me I never knew I had till it comes out in my dreams? I've read about it in scientific articles about the human brain and dream state-wait," Rachel cut herself off, "Dad? Daddy? Kurt?" Rachel looked past Puck's head, glancing around at the people and at the hospital room. She finally released Puck. "Oh my goodness, this isn't a dream."

Kurt almost fell off of the foot of her bed and Santana was actually on the floor, rolling around from laughter.

"Noah, I am so so sorry. I thought it was a dream... not that I have dreams about you or that in those dreams I kiss you, but... umm... why am I in hospital?" Rachel was bright red, it suited her much better than pale though, so Santana saw it was an inprovment.

Puck was chuckling as well. "Berry, you've been caught. You dream 'bout me, you dream 'bout mackin' on me, and you dream it all goin' down in your freaky pink bedroom. You also have a fetish 'bout Satan watchin' that I'm kinda interested in explorin'."

"Noah!" Rachel gasped and hit his arm as Santana chuckled, not disagreeing in the slightest.

Luckily for Rachel her fathers interrupted before she could be future embarrassed.

"Princess, do you remember what happened at school?" Hiram asked softly.

Rachel's brow furrowed, in deep concentration. "Mercedes got the role of Maria, which I find utterly ridiculous. She won't put in the effort, and she went off-key in her audition piece! Besides, everyone knows that I'm Maria, she is my role and-"

"After that honey," Hiram pushed.

Santana turned to Kurt, "this girl is a trip! How have I not been her friend?"

Kurt shrugged, "at least we know she isn't brain damaged, still in full-Berry-force."

Rachel frowned, trying to remember. "I left and was going to my locker, but I stopped," sweat broke out on her forehead from concentration. "I stopped because Finn was there, and he was kissing Quinn... He was cheating on me."

Puck glowered, this being the first he'd heard of it, and Santana and Kurt shared a heated look of anger.

"Sweetie, we're sorry-"

"And I ran outside, " Rachel continued, in her own mind, not even hearing her father. "And-and Shane was there, and-and he... he... he told me he was going to..." Rachel breathed deeply, trying to stop her voice from breaking. "He took me to the stands and he hit me and he stripped me and he... then Noah came," Rachel seemed to come out of her memories, looking deep into Puck's eyes, a smile gracing her face. "And he made Shane stop, and he saved me. You saved me didn't you Noah?"

"I tried to babe, but-"

"Thank you. Thank you for being there, you're always there for me, you're a great friend, Noah."

"And I will always be there for you Berry, but-"

"As soon as I saw you I wasn't scared anymore because I knew that you would protect me. And not just because I'm your fellow Jew, or even maybe your friend, but because that's who you are."

"Thanks Rach, but-"

"Shh Noah-"

"No, Rach, c'mon, he-"

"He hurt me, yes, and don't worry my fathers are lawyers and I'm sure that he will be persecuted to the full extent of the law."

"Damn straight he will, but Rach that isn't what I'm worried about."

"I know Noah."

"I get that you don't wanna talk 'bout it but the Doc-dudes ain't sayin' shit to me, I just gotta know if you're gonna be OK or whatever? So... um.. was I lat-"

"No Noah, you have impeccable timing as usual."

Santana and Kurt's grins were massive, but they couldn't match the smile the spread over Puck's face, or the absolute joy in his face.

"I made it?"

"You should never doubt yourself Noah Puckerman."

"Never again, I promise."

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><p><strong>No way would I ever do that to Rachel, lol, next chapter will be up soon.<strong>

**R and R**


	3. Puck pounces

**A/N: Enjoy. Errors are mine and I don't own Glee.**

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><p>Kurt placed Rachel's bag on her bed. It had been two weeks but she was finally released. She would have been released earlier, if only she had listened to the doctor and taken it easy, but this is Rachel Berry, and she only gives 100%. Most of her bruises, and all of her cuts had healed, except for a scar at the back of her head that was hidden by her hair. Unfortunately she was still deathly pale and had even developed deep bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, no matter what facial products Kurt used.<p>

"There Diva. Now, where should this hideous animal sweaters go to?" Kurt opened Rachel's hospital bag, starting the annoying process of unpacking. Luckily there were only a few items that had migrated to the hospital, most of which was schoolwork or music.

"Actually Kurt, I find myself exhausted, and with my fathers currently out, and thus not fussing over me, I would like to take this opportunity to get some much needed rest," Rachel faked a yawn.

"Instead of all that a simple, Kurt out, I need beauty sleep to erase the bags under my eyes, while daddies dearest aren't bugging me, would work," Kurt smirked.

"Kurt, I believe that was neither shorter nor of the same meaning," Rachel dropped her bag on the floor, as neatly as she could.

"I'm surprised Puck isn't here to help with all this?" Kurt smiled, trying to get her to talk about what could only be a blossoming romance between the two.

"He told me he had 'a wrong to right'. Which is even more reason to sleep while I can. Noah is worse than my fathers sometimes, I couldn't even get him out of the hospital the whole time I was there," Rachel said, frustrated with everyone's hovering.

"Have it your way, farewell Diva," Kurt called as he left her. Actually he didn't leave totally, he simply went to her lounge room and made himself comfortable; there was no way he was leaving Rachel alone. She hadn't been herself since the moment she had woken up in the hospital. Sure she spoke the same, and for the most part acted the same, but her eyes were different, so was her smile. And sometimes it seemed if she only acted the 'Rachel Berry way' because it was how she was supposed to, not because she was actually like that. The deep bruises under her eyes really brought out that dead look in her eyes, and not in a good way.

Kurt wasn't the only one that had noticed, he could tell Puck was just as worried with the way he hovered and constantly asked her how she was, which Kurt didn't think was really helping. Hell, even Santana had spoken to Kurt about it. This would have once shocked him but Santana had been at the hospital daily, and her and Rachel really seemed to be forming a close relationship.

Kurt's biggest fear was that Puck hadn't been in time. Yes, Rachel had promised them all that he had and she was still... intact... but there was just something about her that reminded Kurt of the TV women that spoke about being raped. Kurt knew that Rachel Berry would never lie to anyone; she was the most honest teenager around, well maybe even the most honest PERSON around. But, she wasn't Rachel Berry right now, she was a small, lost, little girl, and that just didn't suit his diva.

Kurt sighed as he heard shuffling feet above him. He was right, this Rachel does lie; she had no intention of going to sleep, she just wanted him gone. If Rachel didn't want him here, then he wouldn't be here; he didn't know how to help her right now anyway. Kurt stood, collecting his bag and pulling out his phone in one quick motion. The text was already sent by the time he was out of the door.

Puck sat in his truck. His knuckles clenched the steering wheel. His eyes stared hard at the door, as if trying to burn a whole through it. His jaw tightened.

With a deep breath, and a quick thought about Rachel (this was all for her), he stepped out of his car, slamming the door behind him as he anger built.

His rage continued to grow with each step towards the door, even with each knock, until the point when the door opened and Puck just burst. Without even thinking back threw a fist into the person behind the door, smashing straight into his face.

Finn fell to the ground, both from shock and the force of the blow. Puck didn't let that stop him, he jumped on top of Finn, letting the anger boil through and consume him, loosing complete control.

Finn, already off-guard, couldn't even block the blows to his face, chest, stomach, and arms. Puck's knuckles were soon covered in blood, both Finn's and his own.

"Puck! Puck! Stop!" A very feminine voice screamed from behind him in the doorway, where the door had been thrown open.

Puck barely even paused in his onslaught.

Kurt raced forward and placed a light hand on Puck's shoulder. He knew he could get hurt but he couldn't let Puck kill Finn, and not for Finn's sake but for Rachel's; she would never be able to handle Puck in jail and Finn dead because of her.

The light touch reminded Puck of Rachel and the way she touched him when she was rinsing the slushy from his hair. He dropped his fists and turned his head. It was Kurt. Thank God, Puck couldn't imagine what Rachel would say if she saw this, and he couldn't think of what he would do if he found out her first act out of hospital would be visiting Finn (who Puck was still unsure if she had dumped yet, if she would...).

Kurt pulled Puck off of Finn, luckily, Puck let him.

"What the hell were you thinking Puckerman!" Kurt squealed, slapping Puck's chest and dragging him away in an attempt to distance him from Finn. Finn was rolling on the ground, obviously in a huge amount of pain, but conscious, so Kurt assumed he'd be fine.

"I was thinking that this Dicknob cheated on Berry! He hurt her! She was in hospital and-"

"And that wasn't his fault! Not directly anyhow. Shane did that. And let me guess? You decided to go all jealous boyfriend meets serial killer on Finn's ass because you can't get to the incarcerated man that you want to beat the crap out of, and Finn is a good second place?"

"No! Also, yes, I would fucking love to whip Shane into his place, but Finn deserved every hit! And more. He hurt Rachel. I mean, what kind of idiot cheats on a girl like that!"

"Maybe the type of idiot that at least got the girl, compared to the type of idiot who just spends years pining after her," Kurt sent the challenge. Maybe it was stupid baiting the lion just after feeding, but it was all for Rachel.

"Fuck you!"

"Great come back. Listen-"

"I gotta get-" Puck turned to the door to leave.

"It's about out favourite girl."

"Speak."

"I know you can tell that there's something wrong with her. Satan and I have noticed as well. She won't talk to us, but I thought maybe we could- me, satan, and the devil spawn- try plan something."

Puck moved as if to leave.

"C'mon Puck. I know you don't 'do feelings and crap' but this is for Rachel. She needs help, and we're the inner circle, those closest to her, those that have noticed, those that-"

"We're tight and shit, I get it."

"Right. You in? Puckerman you will have the key role in my plan."

"The fuck's the plan?"

"Ah, just wait grasshopper and all will be revealed. Also, we're meeting Satan in 5 and I don't want to have to go through it all again."

* * *

><p>Kurt, Santana, and Puck sat at Lima Bean sipping coffees; well Kurt and Santana sipped while Puck gulped it. After an hour or planning, and another hour of Kurt colour-coding and designing costumes (Rachel would be so proud of his detailed plan), Puck was more than ready to get back to Rachel, he hadn't seen her since early that morning.<p>

"Listen kids, I gotta get gone."

"Why the fuck Puckerman?"

"Well Berry-"

"Ahh. It appears that our Mow-hawked Puckerman is missing his fair damsel. And don't even use the plan as an excuse Mr, the first step isn't planned to be put into motion until Monday."

"What the fuck ever." And with that, Puck left.

Santana and Kurt sat at the table, continuing to sip their coffees.

"Santana, gay to gay, why are you so suddenly interested in a friendship with Rachel?"

"Kurt... It's not sudden, OK? I've wanted to be her friend for years, watching her loyalty, her acceptance of everyone, her strive that tends to make her bulldoze anyone in her way, and the whole two dads thing. But every time she was slushied, every time someone called her a name, I couldn't force myself to stop it, and I couldn't make myself give up my reputation just to be her friend. After what happened I realised my stupid reputation wasn't worth this person that I almost lost the opportunity to befriend. And I'm sorry to break this to you fancy pants, but I intend to take your place as best friend in Berry's life. So, step aside or I will cut you."

Kurt's eyes widened, scared at her threat. After he saw her smirk, though, he knew she was joking... maybe... slightly. "Let's just wait and see if Diva has enough room in her life for the two of us."

"The three of us."

"Oh yes. Puckleberry.

"2.0. Hey Kurt, are you sure this will work?"

"I don't know, but it has to, for Rachel, and for New York, and for Broadway."

* * *

><p>Puck pulled his truck up outside of Rachel's house. Her dad's weren't home and her bedroom light was on. Puck bounded up to Rachel's door. Puck wanted to surprise her, maybe catch her in her panties in her bedroom, so he just opened the (stupidly unlocked) door and walked up the stairs. The voices should have been the first clue something was off, but Puck just ignored it as music.<p>

It wasn't until Puck was actually in her bedroom that he saw them; Rachel playing nurse to Finn. Rachel's head whipped to the door as soon as he appeared.

"Puckerman! Did you really do this!" Rachel yelled at him.

Whoops.

* * *

><p><strong>R and R.<strong>


	4. Finn fails

**A/N: sorry for the lack of updates. This is kinda just a filler chapter, but to make up for it I started a 2nd story, it's A/U and puckleberry. All errors are mine and I don't own Glee. Enjoy**

* * *

><p>"Puckerman! Did you really do this?" Rachel yelled at Puck.<p>

"Umm, listen-"

"No! How dare you!" Rachel jumped from the bed, getting right into Puck's face.

Puck could see Finn smirking over Rachel's shoulder and all he wanted to do was ram his fist into his face all over again.

"He is your best friend Puck, " Puck winced, somehow Puck sounded dirty coming off her tongue, and not in a good way, "and you just attack him like a Neanderthal without any warning, reason, or provocation!" Rachel thundered on with some bigass words in her longass lecture, but Puck was still frowning at that first bit.

"Wait, hold up B. You think I did this shit for no reason?"

That caught her off guard. "Well, yes. Finn told me that he simply opened the door and you leap on him, before he even had the chance to say hello."

"Well yeah, I did do that. But shit was for a fucking epic reason," Puck nodded his head. Damn straight, she was the reason, and to him that was the best reason out there. He paused for a fraction of a second, wondering when she began to matter so much to him, but he brushed it off quickly.

"Well then, what reason could you possibly have to use violence on your best friend, instead of simply communicating through words."

"First off, that fucktard ain't my best friend, he ain't even my boy anymore-"

"Isn't," Rachel corrected.

Puck just ignored her. "After the shit he pulled, dude's lucky I even let him live. 'S got Beyonce to thank for that mistake though-"

"Kurt?"

"I woulda finished shit if queer eye hadn't pulled me off 'im-"

"'Queer eye', please Noah, don't be so crass.

Puck smirked slightly. Damn straight he was back to being 'Noah', he hadn't even told her his reason yet. "Dude's cool with it, we're bros or whatever."

Rachel sighed loudly, rolling her eyes. Finn realised that Rachel had already forgiven Puck and he hadn't even explained it yet. That wasn't cool.

"Owww, I think I'm going to be sick. It all hurts so bad," Finn groaned.

"Oh Finn," Rachel rushed to his side.

Puck could only shake his head. Nice move.

"Puck, I still can't believe you would do this to anyone, regardless of his status as your friend. You seriously hurt him and-"

Back to 'Puck'. Very nice move. "Listen B, I over reacted, but I don't regret what I did. Douche cheated on you, no way was I gonna let that shit stand. He hurt you, or whatever, so I hadta hurt him. And look, he's hurting."

Rachel stared at Puck with her mouth hanging open.

Puck leaned forward and used his finger to lightly tap her mouth shut. She moved away from Finn, finally.

"You did this for me?"

"Well..." Puck racked his brain, he knew she hated violence but she might see defending her honour as romantic or whatever, he just had to figure out how to spin it. "I hate to see you hurting and I wanted to make you better. I suck at feelings shit but I'm great at that" Puck gestured to Finn's face "and I thought he'd get the message that hurting you was off the table." Puck sent Rachel his best smile, trying to play this for all he was worth.

Rachel's eyes watered and she jumped into Puck's arms. Fuck yeah, he was a genius. He held her tightly to himself, taking this as a prime opportunity to feel her up.

"Rachel!" Finn squealed, ruining the moment. He could be a real girl sometimes. "What are you doing! He beat up your boyfriend and your hugging him?"

"Ex-boy friend," Rachel replied, staring into Puck's eyes.

Puck felt his heart speed up. Damn straight was he her ex, that meant Berry was single again, score.

Finn stuttered, not being able to get any words out. Rachel finally broke away from Puck and turned towards Finn.

"I fixed you to the best of my abilities. You should probably leave now."

"Rachel, I-"

"No Finn. We only had this year together before I left anyway, you cheating on me just made it end earlier. Now I have the rest of the year to find something, someone else, maybe someone more permanent."

Finn could only walk away, leaving Rachel and Puck standing there staring at each other.

"I don't approve of violence," Rachel reminded him.

"I know babe, and I'm sorry. But dude had it coming."

Rachel nodded, not even attempting to disagree. "Why brought you to my house anyway?" Rachel wondered.

Puck shrugged. "Thought you might need some company or whatever." Puck shrugged again. Then he glanced at her bed, smirking. "Wanna make out?"

Rachel slapped his arm and walked past him, out her bedroom door.

"Where ya goin'?"

"Lounge room. I thought we could enjoy a movie in each others company," Rachel called over her shoulder as she made her way down the stairs.

"Make out while watching a movie? Yeah, I can multi-task."

Rachel didn't bother replying, only shook her head.

* * *

><p><strong>R and R<strong>


	5. The truth

**AN: OK! Well for starters, I am SO SORRY it's taken me so long to update! I decided to do a one year which took ALL of my time, as well as moving around 3 times and getting a new job... but I'm free and on holidays now so I'm making sure I finish EACH AND EVERY story I started, started with this one, the first one I ever wrote. **

* * *

><p>Puck sat in the Berry family living room, making himself at home… or at least pretending to while keeping both eyes focused on Rachel. Rachel was sitting primly, focusing entirely on the movie. Puck hadn't spent much time at Rachel's place, except when they were dating, but that one week had taught him what Rachel was like when watching movies, especially this movie – Funny Girl. Her lips didn't move to the songs, she didn't quote lines, she didn't glance towards him during important parts to see his reactions, she didn't sit on the edge of the couch totally involved with the storyline. No. Rachel sat with her back straight and hands folded in her lap, dull eyes pointed at the widescreen television.<p>

Puck leaned forward and took the remote from the couch next to her, pausing the movie.

Rachel didn't even notice. She body didn't move and her eyes didn't flicker.

Puck, along with Kurt and Santana, had noticed the changes in Rachel, but a part of him was hoping she would kinda snap right back as soon as she got out of hospital. Apparently that wasn't the case. Puck let his head fall to the back of the couch, thinking. Kurt's 'plan' sucked balls but he couldn't think of anything better.

With a deep sigh he put the first phase of the plan into action.

"Berry," Puck said quietly.

Rachel's eyes refocused at the sound of his voice and she tilted her head slightly towards him.

Puck opened his mouth to continue but was interrupted by the front door opening.

"Princess?" called Hiram as soon as he entered.

"Here Dad," responded Rachel, getting up from the couch and heading to the door.

"You OK sweetheart?" Leroy asked, coming in behind Leroy.

"I'm fine Daddy," Rachel replied, in a voice that very much wasn't fine.

Leroy and Hiram moved past Rachel to the kitchen.

"I wish people would stop asking me that," Rachel muttered under her breath.

Puck stopped short, having followed her to the door without her hearing him. Puck swallowed tightly at the anger he'd heard in Rachel's voice. This was a very different girl.

"I hope you don't mind but we're having a special guest over for dinner," Hiram said, excitement ringing in his voice.

Leroy shook his head at his husband's eagerness as he moved around the kitchen, preparing dinner.

"Who?" Rachel asked, trying to match her father's excitement, but not fooling anyone.

Hiram smiled, pretending that he didn't notice Rachel's fake smile and lack of enthusiasm. "Shelby."

Rachel ducked her head and turned away.

Hiram frowned at the reaction but turned to Puck to give Rachel some time. "She's bringing Beth too."

Puck smiled at the thought of his daughter. "Is it cool for me to hang round?"

"Of course Noah. I've already organised enough for you," Leroy answered from the kitchen.

"Dad… Daddy… I'm not very hungry and with Noah being here all day I need to catch up on my rest. Tell Shelby I'm sorry I missed her and give Beth a kiss for me."

Without even waiting for a response Rachel swiftly turned and headed up the stairs to her bedroom.

"The fuck was that?" Puck frowned.

* * *

><p><em>Knock, Knock.<em>

"Honey? Are you awake?" Shelby whispered as she pushed open Rachel's bedroom door later that night. Shelby paused when she didn't hear a response and was about to leave when a soft sob came from the lump in the bed.

"Oh baby," Shelby whispered as she entered the room, closing the door softly behind her. Shelby moved to sit on the edge of the bed, thinking for a moment how funny it was that such a small girl had such a big (and fluffy) bed.

"Rachel? Talk to me baby."

Rachel sniffed and began digging her way out from under all her blankets. It wasn't cold weather in Ohio at the moment, as a matter of fact it was unusually warm weather, but Rachel felt so much safer under the layers.

Shelby gasped when Rachel finally emerged. Her eyes were red and splotchy with big bags under them. Shelby pulled her into a hug – slightly awkwardly because Rachel was still partly buried under the covers and she couldn't move her arms. Shelby released her slightly and laid down with her, stroking her hair.

"Please talk to me baby, you need to talk to someone."

Rachel looked up at Shelby with tears in her eyes. "It's all wrong," Rachel whispered.

"What is?" Shelby frowned.

Rachel pulled an arm out from the blankets and started fidgeting with a teddy. "Me."

"Baby I don't know what you're talking about," Shelby said helplessly, not able to follow what Rachel was saying.

Rachel took a deep breath and cleared her throat, taking a moment before she tried to talk again. "I don't feel like me anymore."

"Because of the attack?"

Rachel shook her head. "That's there too but it happened before that… I'm forceful, I know what I want and I go for it. That seems to annoy most people but it was actually something I really liked about myself. Whether it was a slushy in my face everyday or Santana and Quinn calling me names I always knew that none of it mattered because one day I'd be on broadway and all the teasing would just fuel my amazing talent."

Shelby smiled, seeing so much of herself in this little girl. "And that changed?"

Rachel nodded. "Mercedes… she was pitchy and she is lazy and… that part should have been mine, no contest… but I walked away… I didn't fight for it, I let Artie give it to her…"

"And that's not very Rachel Berry like?"

Rachel nodded again. "That's the opposite to Rachel Berry like… I don't even deserve the name Rachel Berry…"

Shelby frowned. "That's not all is it?"

Rachel shook her head. "I saw Fin kiss Quinn… and I walked away…"

"OK-"

"No! Not OK!" Rachel sat up. "I'm the girl that slapped Fin! The girl that cried every time we broke up! The girl that did duets with people just to make him jealous! And all I did was walk away!"

Shelby stroked Rachel's hair again, calming her down. After a few moments Rachel lied back down, molding herself to Shelby's side, tears flowing down her cheeks.

"What happened then?" Shelby asked, knowing Rachel needed to tell the whole story, admit the truth for once.

Rachel looked up at Shelby, eyes still red from the tears. "Did they tell you?"

Shelby nodded. "They did… but I think you need to say it as well…"

Rachel looked away, but clung tighter to Shelby. "I walked away from Fin… away from Quinn… away from Mercedes… away from New York… and I walked straight into him… Shane… I screamed and I fought a-an-and I tried, I really did."

"No one doubts that sweetie."

"But shouldn't they? I'm Rachel Berry! If I want something I do it! I wanted to get free but… but I'm a midget," Rachel laughed humorlessly. "I fought but Shane… he… and then Noah was there and he saved me but-but…"

Shelby felt tears running down her own cheeks.

"But he was too late," Rachel whispered in a voice so small it matched her tiny frame. Rachel broke down completely, sobbing loudly and breathlessly into Shelby's shirt.

Shelby held her tightly, rubbing her back, crying for the poor broken girl in front of her.

After what felt like hours Rachel calmed, her sobs no longer as desperate and her breathing normalizing.

Shelby smiled sadly, at least Rachel got it off her chest.

Rachel looked at Shelby. "So what do I do now? What's the next move for Rachel Berry?"

Shelby brushed Rachel's hair from her eyes and wiped away her tears. "Maybe it's time for Rachel Berry to discover who Rachel is?"

Rachel frowned, her head tilted in confusion.

"You're whole life you've been this dedicated, talented girl, headed straight for New York and broadway, but something has happened, something that has changed you. I'm not saying you're not still headed for New York but maybe you just need to take time to heal and find out the new Rachel… without the Berry."

Rachel nodded. "I think you're right…"

Rachel was quiet for a moment.

"Do you think Rachel likes Noah?" Rachel asked in a small voice.

Shelby couldn't help it, she burst out laughing.

Rachel's face broke into a grin before she began giggling as well.

* * *

><p>The next day Rachel walked into glee late. Her first day back at school had been horrible, from the gossiping and the stares to seeing Fin and Quinn back together, but what she was about to do was probably going to be the hardest part of the day. She saw a seat open next to Noah, one that he'd saved for her. She'd been avoiding him, Santana, and Kurt all day, not wanting to tell any of them what she was about to do.<p>

"Rachel, we've missed you," Mr Shue said. "If you'll just take your seat-"

"Actually," Rachel glanced at Mercedes sitting in the back, avoiding her stare, "I have a song I'd like to share?"

Mr Shue sighed. "OK, quickly Rachel."

Rachel nodded and moved to sit at the piano. Rachel took a deep breath, this was unlike anything she'd ever done before.

Take a breath,

Take it deep.

'Calm yourself', He says to me

Kurt frowned, recognizing the song.

If you play, you play for keeps.

Take the gun and count to three.

Im sweating now,

Moving slow,

No time to think. My turn to go

Santana moved to stand up and stop her, but something in her voice fixed her to the chair.

And you can see my heart beating

You can see it through my chest.

Said I'm terrified but I'm not leaving

I know that I must pass this test

So, just pull the trigger

Puck's mouth hung open and he felt his eyes get slightly wet (which he'd never admit)

Say a prayer to yourself

He says 'close your eyes, sometimes it helps'

And then I get a scary thought

That he's here - means he's never lost

Shelby stopped outside the room. It was a dark song, sure, but Shelby, after her talk with Rachel lat night, knew the meaning she intended. Shelby stopped to listen to her voice. She'd heard Rachel sing more times than she could count but this voice was something completely different; so full of pain and passion, if possible more amazing that Rachel had ever sounded.

And you can see my heart beating.

No, You can see it through my chest.

Said I'm terrified but I'm not leaving

Know that I must pass this test.

So, just pull my trigger

Mr Shue stood to stop her, this type of music wasn't allowed at McKinley, but not even he could force her to stop.

As my life flashes before my eyes

I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise?

So many won't get the chance to say good-bye

But its too late to think of the value of my life

Rachel felt tears start pouring down her face as she put everything she was feeling into the song. She quickly glanced at the stands, watching the shocked faces of her fellow gleeks, noting Kurt's pale face and Santana and Noah's worried faces… and Mecedes' guilty face… and Quinn's angry face.

And you can see my heart beating.

No, You can see it through my chest.

Said I'm terrified but I'm not leaving no

know that I must pass this test.

You can see my heart beating.

Oh, You can see it through my chest.

I'm terrified but I'm not leaving no

know that I must pass this test.

So, just pull the trigger

Rachel stood and moved to the front of the piano. Everyone was too shocked to clap or react in any way. "I just want to say that I've enjoyed being a part of Glee these last three years…" Rachel looked at Mr Shue. "Being a part of something special makes you special, right Mr Shue?"

Mr Shue didn't even react.

"But… I can't do it anymore… I'm sorry guys, but I quit."

Without even waiting for a response Rachel turned and walked out of the room.

* * *

><p><strong>R and R (makes me write faster)<strong>


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